i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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