he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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