are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
