He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
