Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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