Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
