I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
