she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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