bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
