I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
