Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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