THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
