apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
