Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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