yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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