One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
In America we eat man semen.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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