there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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