Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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