so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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