I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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