can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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