margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
