did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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