The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
