How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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