I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Michael Bay diarrhea
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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