Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
