I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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