I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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