Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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