you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
