He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
