K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
