I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Alive.
So much puke
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is my gift to your gina
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
