You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize