How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
