Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think people are normalizing furries
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