There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
