But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
