I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
