She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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