I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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