you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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