not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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