What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
