Umm I'm too high to move.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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