So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
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Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
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Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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