she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
