I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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