and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
