PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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