i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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