Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
