Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
