I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
