what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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