I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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