I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
