I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
