On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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