ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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