Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize