I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
