i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
