to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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