I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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