either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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