Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
