no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
