either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
