If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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