I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
