Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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