Apparently you make a good broom.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
