Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
